Key Questions to Ask When Choosing a Sperm Donor

Choosing a sperm donor is one of the most impactful and personal decisions you will make on your journey to parenthood. It can give you options that you may not have thought was possible! Asking the right questions can help you feel confident, grounded, and empowered as you select the donor who will help you build your family. Here are some questions you can ask as you navigate this process.

What is the donor’s medical and genetic history?

A donor’s health background is a crucial starting point. Most sperm banks thoroughly screen donors for genetic conditions, infectious diseases, and family health history, but it’s important to review this information carefully yourself.
Ask:

• Does the donor have any known genetic conditions or carriers in their family?

• How far back does the medical history go (parents, grandparents, siblings)?

• What ongoing health monitoring does the bank require from donors?

This helps you make an informed decision and feel confident in the donor’s long-term health profile.

What personal characteristics matter most to you?

Donor profiles often include details about appearance, personality traits, education, talents, and hobbies. There’s no “right” answer—only what matters to you and your vision for your family.
Ask yourself:

• Which traits feel essential versus nice-to-have?

• Do you want a donor who resembles you or your partner?

• Are you drawn to certain values, interests, or personality styles?

Clarifying your priorities can prevent decision fatigue and keep the process grounded in your personal goals.

What level of donor identity disclosure are you comfortable with?

This is one of the most impactful decisions you’ll make for your future child. You need to know how comfortable the donor is with the different donor types. You’ll want to ask the sperm bank:

• Can the donor-conceived child contact the donor at age 18?

• How do I feel about my child possibly wanting contact in the future?

Thinking ahead about disclosure helps ensure you choose a path that aligns with your values and your child’s potential future questions.

How much donor material is available and how is it managed?

If you hope to have more than one child with the same donor, availability matters.
Ask:

• How many vials are currently available for this donor?

• Can I reserve vials for future use?

• Are there limits on the number of families who can use each donor?

Planning ahead protects your options and reduces stress later on.

What emotional and practical support is available to me?

This decision can be emotionally overwhelming, so it is a good idea to get as much support as you can. Some sperm banks have resources. Ask:

• Do you offer counseling or support groups for recipient parents?

• Are there educational resources about talking with children about their donor origins?

• Can I connect with other families who used the same donor?

Asking the right questions can really make a difference in how you navigate the process. Choosing a sperm donor is both a science and an act of love. Asking these key questions can help you move through the process with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions you may have. We would love to help!